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I've often said in times past that the solution to the political apathy Canada is drowning in would be solved if we just shut down professional hockey. No more Hockey Night in Canada, no more government bailouts of millionaire players and billionaire owners. Just get rid of the sport entirely.
That was many years ago, the last time there was an NHL lockout, or as I prefer to call it, billionaires bickering with millionaires over how much of our money they should each take.
Now, before the flame wars and murder threats start, hear me out.
I was wrong.
The solution was not to simply end hockey, the Sacred Cow of Canadian Sport...
You need to add a lot more gasoline to the flames of discontent that flare at the feet of Canadians than that.
The Solution to Canada's Political Apathy, I realized, was two-fold.
First, there is the hockey strike, lockout, whatever you want to call it. Who cares. Just end pro hockey entirely. Hey, it will be great for the junior ranks who will benefit from people actually attending their games instead of sitting on the couch watching the television!
Second, shut down of every brewing company in the country. Dump all existing stocks of beer down the drain and smash all the beer bottles.
Raze the refineries to the ground while simultaneously bulldozing all those pro hockey arenas paid for by taxpayers so millionaire hockey players would have somewhere to play for their billionaire hockey team owners.
Yes, I know it sounds a little harsh at first glance, but think about it.
Hockey and Beer are Canada's claim to fame. They're also the major reason for the apathy Canadians have toward politics and the problems our nation faces!
Perhaps with no Sacred Cow to watch on Saturday nights and no beer to swill down while we watch it, maybe, just maybe we will awaken from our national stupor to realize Canada faces some very serious challenges; challenges for which our pandering politicians clearly don't have all the answers.
The answer to Canada's problems is not one more bloody Big Government solution. Politicians are good at two things and two things only: getting votes and giving themselves massive entitlements.
Does anyone but a politician believe it's "fair" to give a single dollar to a pension fund while demanding Canadian Taxpayers match that with $24? Of course not.
Does anything happen about this sort of corruption? Nope. And don't even get me started on the gold-plated pensions for government workers... they need to be stripped bare too.
It's never gonna happen as long as we've got Hockey Night in Canada and Beer.
Politicians and bureaucrats prefer it that way.