HMCS MIKE IGNATIEFF
HMCS Michael Ignatieff set sail today from its home port of Toronto, ON.
The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to Michael Ignatieff ‘for his foresight in military budget cuts’.
The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although it cannot be launched from the 100 foot flight deck, is still a menacing presence.
Naturally, no firearms are allowed on board.
This crew, just like the crew aboard the HMCS Jean Chretien, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of Canada at any cost.
An onboard Type One Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find Canada offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises that all apologies will sound sincere.
In times of conflict… the Michael Ignatieff has orders to seek refuge in the USA.
HMCS JACK LAYTON
Details are vague.
But don’t worry… he has a plan!
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