On December 7, 2020, Dr. Bonnie Henry, BC’s High Priestess of COVID, was asked whether she thought British Columbians “will be on board with basically being locked down for Christmas?”
“This is not a lockdown, clearly,” Bonnie Henry replied, a smirk on her face. Then she described a key element of a lockdown.
“But yes, these are the restrictions that we’ve had in place. If you’re used to… large family dinners together, now you need to do it remotely.”
When combined with the other commandments listed in her latest Provincial Health Order, the only honest way to describe Bonnie Henry’s edict is “lockdown”.
In Dr. Henry’s mind, the fact we’re not literally confined to our homes (yet) means her anti-Christmas edict is not a lockdown.
That’s a delightful semantic twist, I suppose, but word games do not miraculously transform The High Priestess’s lies into the Holy Gospel of Truth.
For the sake of clarity (ours, not hers), let’s take a look at the restrictions imposed on us this Christmas season by BC’s High Priestess of COVID and decide for ourselves whether her edicts add up to a Merry COVID Christmas or an Ebenezer Scrooge-like Lockdown Christmas.
Prohibited Actions and Events
- Christmas Mass
- Religious services at churches, mosques, synagogues, sanghas, temples and gurdwaras
- Public events and social gatherings are suspended
- Musical and Theatrical performances
- Attending a Movie Theatre
- Outdoor Skating
- Inviting friends and/or extended family into your home
- Gathering outdoors, both in public spaces and your own back yard
- Playdates for your children – both indoor and outdoor
- No family gatherings beyond your “core bubble” – defined as “immediate household” members living under a single roof
- Non-Essential Travel as defined by the High Priestess of COVID, not you, dear mere citizen
It’s reads like a twisted, evil version of the Twelve Days of Christmas, but it’s not a lockdown because, well, Bonnie Henry says so.
If only that were true.
What BC’s High Priestess of COVID ordered is, for all practical purposes, the Merriam-Webster Dictionary’s definition of “lockdown”.
Lockdown: a temporary condition imposed by governmental authorities in which people are required to stay in their homes and refrain from or limit activities outside the home involving public contact.
George Orwell would be proud.
War is Peace.
Freedom is Slavery.
Ignorance is Strength.
Lockdown is Christmas.