A friend forwarded me a news story today that had a really funny ending. It was about a thief who ran into some marines as he was trying to escape from chasing store personnel:
The suspect was transported to the local hospital with two broken arms, a broken leg, possible broken ribs, multiple contusions and assorted lacerations including a broken nose and jaw... injuries he sustained when he apparently fell trying to run after stabbing the Marine.
As usually happens with stories like this, there was no link attached to it.
That’s always my first clue that something’s up. So I did a little searching. I just took half of the first line of the story and plugged it into Mr. Google.
That story, though, was missing the last paragraph, which I’ve quoted above. Here’s what showed up on those three news sites:
AUGUSTA, Ga. (CBS/AP) A U.S. Marine reservist collecting toys for children was stabbed when he helped stop a suspected shoplifter outside an eastern Georgia Best Buy.
The store's sales manager, Orvin Smith, told The Augusta Chronicle that a man was seen on surveillance cameras Friday putting a laptop under his jacket at the Augusta store.
When confronted, the man became irate, knocked down an employee, pulled a knife and ran toward the door. Outside were four Marines collecting toys for the service branch's "Toys For Tots" program.
Smith said the Marines stopped the man, but he stabbed one of them, Cpl. Phillip Duggan, in the back. The cut did not appear to be severe.
The suspect, whose name was not released, was held until police arrived. The Richmond County sheriff's office said it is investigating.
All were missing the paragraph that I found so funny.
It made for a great ending to an already good story.
The good news is that it’s a true story, at least up until that last hilarious a paragraph. Cpl. Phillip Duggan was stabbed as he tried to stop a thief from fleeing from a Best Buy store in Augusta Georgia in late November.
"We don't go looking for the axis of evil; it just sometimes pulls out in front of us," said Chief Warrant Officer Gregory Smith, who commands the unit that has led the Toys for Tots drive in Augusta for 21 years.
It’s just what Marines do… good things for kids… and stopping bad people when they need to be stopped. No matter where they happen to be.
It sure would have been fitting though, if they guy had received all those injuries after falling down though, don’t you think?